Kids have a way of asking the most profound questions at the most unexpected times. The other day, my five-year-old son, Noah, was sitting on the floor, playing with his toys, when he suddenly looked up at me with a serious expression. “Dad,” he asked, “how did you and Mom decide to be together?” I was caught completely off guard. How do you explain the complex, nuanced story of a relationship—the initial attraction, the shared values, the years of building a life together—to a five-year-old in a way that he can understand? I didn’t want to give him a generic, fairy-tale answer, but I also knew that a lecture on adult relationships would go right over his head.
As I was trying to formulate a simple, truthful answer, an idea sparked. I decided that instead of telling him, I would show him. I would use a tool that was on his level, something visual, fun, and a little bit magical. “That’s a great question, buddy,” I said, scooping him up onto my lap. “Let’s find out the official reason.” I grabbed my phone and opened a love calculator website I had bookmarked. It had a easy, welcoming interface that I knew wouldn’t overwhelm him.
I showed him the screen. “This is a special computer that knows all about people,” I explained in my most serious, scientific voice. “It can tell us why Mom and I are together.” His eyes widened with awe. This was a language he understood. Computers were magic. I didn’t just start typing. I turned it into a ceremony. “Okay, first, we need my name,” I said, and I let him help me type the letters. Then, I said, “Now, we need the most important ingredient… Mom’s name.” We typed it in together, letter by letter. He was completely captivated, a willing participant in this important investigation.
With our names sitting in the two boxes, I looked at him. “Are you ready for the answer?” He nodded eagerly, his little face a picture of concentration. I let him press the big, colorful “Calculate” button himself. The result flashed onto the screen in big, bold numbers: 96%. Noah gasped. He pointed a chubby finger at the screen. “Wow! That’s a big number!” he exclaimed. I pulled him into a hug. “That’s right,” I told him, a huge smile on my face. “The computer knows that Mom and Dad are a 96% match. That’s a super-duper-high score. It means we’re a great team. And that’s why we decided to be together.”
He was thrilled with this answer. It was simple, it was definitive, and it was delivered by a magical, all-knowing computer. He didn’t need to know about the complexities of love and commitment. He just needed to know that we were a “high score.” It was a tangible, visual representation of our bond that his five-year-old mind could easily grasp. It was, for him, a perfect and complete explanation.
Of course, I know that’s a simplified version of our story. But in that moment, it felt like the most truthful answer I could give. Our love isn’t a number, but it is a powerful, positive force. That 96% became a symbol of that force for him. The experience was a beautiful bonding moment for us. It was a way for me to talk about my love for his mother in a way that included him and made him feel part of the story.
Later that day, I heard him explaining it to his teddy bear. “Mom and Dad are a 96%,” he said sagely. “That’s why they’re a family.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. That simple, fun, and visual tool had allowed me to plant a beautiful, positive seed about our family’s foundation in his heart. It wasn’t a lecture; it was a game, a discovery, a piece of magic. And sometimes, a little bit of magic is the best way to explain the most important things in the world.